Raise your hand if you’ve ever had to try making adult friends in a new city?
Not so easy, huh? Unlike the days of kindergarten when making new friends was as simple as sharing some of the coveted Pringles from your lunchbox, trying to make adult friends is hard work! And I know this because I recently picked up my entire life and moved to Manhattan at what felt like a moment’s notice…
For the first time in my life, I was moving to a new city without the friend-making comfort of school. Sure, moving to Boston for law school (a city where I knew literally no one) was tough at first, but all it took was a few orientation days and some cocktails to meet people. By October of my first semester, I was chatting it up with my group of soon-to-be-lawyer friends like a Legally Blonde social butterfly and, just like it did during my college years, my social life fell into place pretty neatly.
Now, at 27, I was facing the very daunting task of meeting other humans without so much as a grad school class or even a new workplace with coworkers to help. I was working on my own as my own boss, secretary, accountant, and IT rep for the very first time and I had no idea how I was going to meet anyone besides the sweet old ladies in my building that called me “dear” as we chatted about the weather in the elevator.
Luckily, my yoga practice (and my mom) came to the rescue yet again.
Without an office bestie or schoolmate to fall back on, I turned to the only other thing I could think of: yoga. I knew that I wanted to get back on my mat and find a studio in my new home and, thankfully, my mom had already done the heavy lifting for us by discovering Pure Yoga.
Coming from the relatively small town vibes of Boston, I’ll be the first to admit that Pure is a far cry from the tiny 2-room studios I was accustomed to back in Beacon Hill. Really though, this studio has more in common with the spa at the Ritz than it does with any other yoga space I’ve stepped foot into. From the designer products in the bathrooms to the multiple floors of studio spaces that are equipped to host everything from Iyengar to Restorative classes, this place truly is in a class all its own…and I freakin’ love it.
Finding a new studio was the first step and, as I started going to classes with my mom every week, I slowly started to feel like maybe this is where my friends would be…maybe this was my new university environment. And one day I decided to take that mindset a step further by signing up for a restorative teacher training.
I’ve wanted to learn more about restorative yoga ever since I plopped down onto my meditation cushion for the first time nearly 8 years ago. And so, when a 3-month training hosted by one of my favorite new teachers popped up, I listened. And it was easily one of the best things I could have done to make friends in this new city.
That’s the thing about making friends – at the end of the day, the basic need we’re all trying to satisfy is a sense of community, of belonging. We want to interact with people that understand us and appreciate our unique gifts to the world and, in an ideal scenario, surround ourselves with those people each and every second of every day. By placing myself in an environment that automatically filled this need, I set myself up for success; by surrendering to the magic that is yoga, I was able to settle in and find “my people”…those beautiful souls that teach me something new about myself and the world we live in each and every day.
So here’s my advice: yes, meeting new adult friends can be tough. Yes, it can be especially frustrating when you work for yourself or as your own boss. But you can do it, and you can have a lot of fun along the way! All you have to do is find a community that shares one of your interests or, better yet, a passion (for me, yoga) and dive in. In no time at all, you just might find yourself spending a few weekends with some pretty cool new friends…
Always be open to new experiences,
The Yogi Lawyer